yael2006:

House: … buy a polo pony, tidy up my room, use KY more often… shucks, the list goes on and on. Was I that bad a hubby? Anyway, no sacrifies are too big not to deal with. I really want him back.

Chase: I hope I didn’t overdo it and have him getting mad at me. It’s just part of the game. He mustn’t believe conquering me was as easy as pie.

yael2006:

Cuddy: No, House. I’m gonna keep Chase. He should have a family, be allowed to finally be a little boy. You’re a child yourself; it could never work between him and you. It was stupid of me to think it would.

Back at work…

House: What can I do do to make you return to me, my sweet adorable savage?

Chase: Here’s what’s on top of the list I made: Buy me a playstation, go to the zoo twice a week, watch the Star Wars-movies until puking, read me bedtime-stories every night, bake my favourite cup cakes, never tear my hair out when you’re close to me, learn to speak Southeast-Australian…

House: Enough, you sneaky bastard. I should have tried the sick magician.

yael2006:

Cuddy: James, darling. I’m afraid you have to move into the living room for the night. The boy fell asleep in my bed after he had two cups of my special brand of herbal tea. Isn’t that sweet?

Wilson: But… but his stay wasn’t meant to be permanent. I thought the terms were clear enough. I just wanted to make you smile and be less moody when you’re home alone. House will be all over me. You know how possessiv he can be. 

Cuddy: Forget about House. Robert needs a mother.

Chase: Uh-oh. Wilson’s coming. I better get dressed. Boy, that herbal tea really is a killer.

yael2006:

Wondrous man: *Gag* I’m a magician and can make you win back the love of your life. Gnarrrgnn…

House: Then spit out Chase instead of the damned useless cards.

Wondrous man: I’m sorry that’s impossible. It’s a mysterious illness, no trick. Take them and eat. They’re supposed to taste like strawberries.

House: Chase is allergic to strawberries. But the guy seems to know his business.

yael2006:

House: Oh, you naughty smock! You’d like that. But the show we’re in isn’t about who’s dating who or who makes the cutest couple. That would be just shallow. It’s about my twisted character and my ingenious mojo to solve medical mysteries.

Wilson: And Chase is one. A medical mystery.

House: Well, yeah…  in a way he is.

yael2006:

House: Cuddy won’t give him back to me. I can feel it in my leg. Not even the pills she gave me as a diversion were real but rotten candies from last year’s Halloween. Talk to her. I’m depriving sleep without my Aussie puppy.

Wilson: Well… there’s still me. Your friend and… ermm… substitute. If you want me, that is. Think about it. Hilson shippers will be delighted as hell.

yael2006:

Chase: Is someone bothering you out there? I can take care of that.

Cuddy: Don’t worry. It’s just a cranky, scruffy beggar with a cane. I’m gonna give him a nickel, a bottle of fake vicodinpills and a Jaegermeister so he will leave us alone.

yael2006:

Cuddy: For the record, House: I have a court order that says that if you come anywhere near my house again, you’ll be sent right back to jail.

House: It’s also Wilson’s house. Besides, I have the right to remain silent. And to get back my property. Where’s Chase?

yael2006:

Chase: Ma’am… um… Dr. Cuddy. We had an appointment, I assume.

Cuddy: Chase… Robert. How nice of you to come. Make yourself at home and let me spoil you for a while. Herbal tea or hot chocolate? We could also watch a movie. We’ll do whatever you like, okay? My time is your time.

House: Better mind your steps. I’m gonna retrace every single one you take. Particularly the ones to the bedroom.

yael2006:

Chase: So you want me to join the happy family?

Wilson: No, no. Not… the common way. I’m not replacing your late father. All I ask for is you spending some time with my fiancée until we have our own babies. She feels useless at home. I must help her out before she turns into a desperate housewife.

Chase: How much is my hourly wage?

yael2006:

House: Cuddy taking custody of Chase?! Have you gone out of your mind? I won’t give him to her. Who knows what she’s up to.

Wilson: It’s just for the weekends. You’ll have him at work and the entire week. You should have seen her. She was devastated. I know it sounds crazy, but you know how adamant women can be… especially Cuddy.

yael2006:

Wilson: Hey. Cuddles. Don’t be sad. If you want to try with House again, there’s nothing I can do. Just follow your heart.

Cuddy: Oh, sweetheart. It’s so you to say this. It’s not House I’m mourning for. I feel disgraceful because I was jealous of him. Chase in his Pan-costume has awakened my maternal instincts.

Wilson: Well… as a matter of fact, he happens to be an orphan. How about adopting him?

yael2006:

Wilson: *Sniff* I just can’t forget the way Lisa was looking at you at Halloween’s. I’m afraid of finding her packing suitcases when I get home.

House: If she’s got the nerve to dump my best friend, she’s not as smart as she appears to be. Nobody likes show-offs. As far as I can see, you’re good for her. Baking cake and buying flowers and cleaning the bathroom. It’s what she needs and what no other man would do.

Wilson: Seriously? I’m not sure if I’m the right guy for a tough woman like her.

House: You are because you’re not me.

yael2006:

House: Whoawhoa. Not so fast. I’m not in the mood right now. What I meant to say was, I’m a gentleman as you may have no-… mmm… hmmm.

Chase: What is it you always say? Everybody lies? Including you.

House: I admit it. You got me.

yael2006:

House: I don’t know if our love has a chance, pink princess.

Chase: Why not? I do anything you want me to? Don’t pay attention to Foreman behind me. It’s just his dummy recharging his battery.

House: ….

A/N: Gnaahhh! I wish Mr. Laurie would smile more often in House. It’s incredibly sexy!!!